Hi there, it's me, Bullitt. Don't think that my Mum can't spell, I wasn't named 'Bullet' like the thing that flies out of a gun; I was named 'Bullitt' after one of Mum's all time favourite actors, Steve McQueen. Anyhoo, I knew Stimpy for 7 years. Mum always felt that I didn't care much for Stimpy at all...but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just never really paid that much attention to him. I was always too busy with Mum or Dad to really care about what the other pets in the house were doing. I wish now that I had spent a little more time with him and not taken him for granted.
Here is the story of my first recollection of Stimpy;
It was February of 1999 that my Mum found me in an ad in the Brantford Expositor. She drove all the way to Newmarket to get me. I remember very little about where I came from, except that I lived in a closed box for the first few weeks of my life (I think that has something to do with the fact that I've always been a bit strange). I remember my birth father, his name was Rocky and he tried to eat me. What a jerk. I remember my birth mother...barely. She was a nice looking Boston Terrier, but I can't remember her name. She took good care of me and I remember Mum having a nice chat with her before we left the house. Mum reassured her that I would be well taken care of, spoiled rotten even. Of course, Mum kept her word.
Mum tells me that I freaked her out when she put me in the car; as soon as we got into the car, I guess I started wiggling around and acting very strangely indeed. She says I was doing 'the funky chicken' whatever that means. Mum almost took me back to where I came from, back to 'the box', thinking that I was mentally retarded or something. Fortunately she realized that I was just very strange and brought me back to Brantford with her anyways.
Mum carried me in her purse to the house, and I remember I saw my Dad open the back door to let these two large dogs outside. I remember thinking that I was glad that they were outside so I could be safe inside. However, instead of taking me into the safety and warmth of the house, Mum passed by the back door and brought me directly into the backyard. I didn't know Mum very well at that point, but she seemed very nice and gentle and I had a feeling that she wouldn't have brought me 4 hours from my shut-in lifestyle just to feed me to two large dogs...so I trusted what she was doing. She reached into the purse and grabbed ahold of my fat little body. Before I could even check out my surroundings, I had this giant snout in my face. I was a little nervous at first, but Mum kept saying, "Stimpy, be nice...BE NICE..." He seemed to be listening to her, thank goodness. Stimpy sniffed me vigourously...sneezing on me many MANY times (I smelled really bad and I think my stank was upsetting him...keep in mind, I DID live in a box for at least 4 weeks, and that box SMELLED REALLY BAD).
After Stimpy's initial 'spraying of the sneeze' greeting, I felt very much at ease. I remember thinking what a handsome fellow he was, and I could tell by the frantic wagging of his long curly tail that he was a fine gentleman indeed. He was so friendly and warm. He kept sneezing on me though, which after a while made me grumble a bit. I was soaking wet!! Stimpy thought that was funny and he started to paw and whine at me, so Mum put me down on the grass and watched carefully to make sure everything went ok. I remember standing in front of Stimpy, me being around 5 pounds, Stimpy outweighing me 9 fold...He looked HUGE to me! However, I wasn't afraid, and I immediately put my bum in the air, stretched my front paws straight out, and let him know that I was ready to play! Stimpy liked that, and he did the same thing....put his paws straight out, stuck his butt in the air, barked a couple of times and then ran mad circles around me. What a funny guy! I immediately felt so safe with him at my side, and I knew I was going to like being Stimpy's new little brother. He told me to stick with him; he'd show me the ropes, and everything would be fine.
When it came time for me to meet Louie, I was a bit nervous. Louie was a behemeth. He was 92 pounds, and was quite intimidating to little baby me. When my Dad brought Louie over, Stimpy growled at him as if to say, "BE GENTLE YOU BIG PIG!" Louie stared at Stimpy for a moment and wagged his tail as if to say, "Oh Stimpy, you're so funny!" Stimpy kept a close eye on the situation, while still sniffing me all over. Mum and Dad held onto Louie's collar while he moved in for a good sniff. Fortunately his tail was wagging, however I still felt a tad aprehensive. As soon as Louie started sniffing me, he began frothing at the mouth. I didn't realize how stinky I was until I smelled how good Louie and Stimpy smelled...and believe me, Louie smelled REALLY REALLY bad so for me to say that I smelled worse than Louie, is really saying something.
Louie started frothing at the mouth and I guess in his pea-brain he decided, "Bad stinky puppy...must get rid of it." So Louie proceeded to try to eat me, in one big gulp. It turns out that this was a natural reaction for Louie....if he didn't understand it, he tried to eat it. This happened many times before my arrival, and many times afterwards. Don't get me wrong, Louie didn't have a mean bone in his body...to him, I was the same thing as a lump of poop or a peice of steak. He didn't know the difference, and he didn't know any better.
So as soon as Louie tried to eat me, Stimpy jumped on him so fast that I barely even saw Louies jaws reach for me. Louie let out a big yelp and Stimpy chased him across the yard, snapping his jaws at Louies nub-like tail. Moments later, Louie forgot what happened and decided that 'angry Stimpy' was cute (as Louie often reacted when Stimpy got mad), and he started playing with Stimpy again. Eventually Louie came back to me and started all over again; He sniffed me, started frothing at the mouth, tried to eat me...then Stimpy chased him away again, then he came back...It went on like this for about an hour...Finally Mum decided to give me a bath, hoping that if I smelled better, Louie wouldn't try to eat me anymore.
So Mum gave me a bath, and Stimpy helped. He was so curious and excited to see a new little puppy in the house that he stuck really close to me for the first few days I was there. He made sure that Louie didn't eat me. I am very grateful for that indeed.
After my bath, Louie was ok. He stopped trying to eat me and all was well from that point on. After a few days, Stimpy and Louie realized that I was more of a 'people' dog than a 'dogs dog', and they didn't bother with me too much. I prefered to be with Mum, and if I did interact with Stimpy or Louie it was just to attack Louie to put him in his place, or to negotiate with Stimpy over our bones....you see, Mum would buy us these beef bones that would last for months and we shared them all. However I would always want the bone that Stimpy or Louie had, so Stimpy and I would negotiate...I would let him lick my face if he would give me his bone. I'll never understand why Stimpy liked to lick my face, but he did. He also licked Louie's face, and when Louie would tell him to stop, Stimpy would growl at him. Poor Lou, he really took a beating from Stimpy and I.
So you see, even though Stimpy and I rarely interacted with one another, we were brothers and I loved him. He liked to lick my face because he liked me. I let him lick my face because I liked him. He stopped doing that after Louie died...Stimpy stopped doing a lot of things after Louie died; that's when I decided to just leave Stimpy alone. He was getting so old...if he had a bone, I wanted him to have it, so I didn't bother trying to take it from him. I had so much respect for my brother Stimpy. He taught me so many things. He's been with me for my entire life (minus the 8 weeks I lived in a box), and it's very hard for me to be without him now.
I'm the big boy in the house now. That's strange for me because I've always been the baby. Mum hates that I'm the oldest now, she has a real problem with that. Smeagol is the baby now, and she follows me everywhere. She is so annoying. She worshipped Stimpy...she used to follow him around, tried to get him to play..she thought Stimpy was so funny! Smeagol is only 2 so she doesn't really understand what has happened to Stimpy, even though Mum has explained it to her. I know what's happened...I don't really understand it, but Mum says that I will see Louie and Stimpy again someday, so we have to be strong until then. So as I said, I'm the big boy now...where Stimpy used to protect Mum, that's my job now. Where Stimpy used to bark when he heard a sound outside, that is also my job now. I have to be a lot more alert and in tune to my surroundings now that Stimpy isn't here to take care of us.
It's a heavy burden to carry, but Stimpy has trained me well. I'm up for the job.
I love Stimpy and miss him very much. I know that's probably a big shock to Mum, but it's true. She knows I miss him because since Stimpy passed away, I keep pooping on the floor. I don't know how else to express myself, so that's going to have to do for now. Maybe once I start writing in Stimpy's journal on a regular basis, that can be my outlet rather than pooping on the floor. I think Mum would like that.
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Oh Bullitt, you are so pretty! And what a very lovely story! You wrote it so well, I could see the whole first meeting in my mind!
Mum has raised her boys well b/c you're all so educated
oh Bullitt....i din't know you could play the harmonica 
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